January 15, 2021
January 15, 2021

January 15, 2021

When people from past relationships apologize to me
Years later
It feels weird
When they actually understand what it is that they’ve done to me
I feel relief
I feel happiness and hope for the fact that they were able to grow as humans
I also feel
Immense sorrow
Like it’s sorrow, not pain, not necessarily sadness
Because to me, hearing someone who genuinely understands their actions and impact on me and how I experienced and suffered from their actions, apologize, is the closet I can get to the feeling that I think most people think will come from revenge.
Revenge doesn’t stop people from hurting
Apologies don’t stop people from hurting
But growth does

So hearing an apology from someone who has grown
Hearing that they were thankful for me is bittersweet
Nothing can undo what has been done to my mind and body
Nothing can undo how it continues to affect me daily

But I’m thankful for their growth
And the relief from their apologies
Washing away my doubts about myself

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